So many things are yelling at you for attention right now.
Emotions; worry, anger, fear, grief.
Do we really know how things are going to turn out? Does ANYONE really know? So far it seems just the best guess.
What and whom can you trust?
All I can say for sure, is that when you go inward you will hear your own truth. It will be quiet, not yelling in your ear. It will be in your heart, not pounding in your head.
This is probably not the first storm you have weathered, and it won’t be your last.
I will share one of mine that I seldom talk about.
16 years ago I went for a walk along the pathways in Fish Creek Park, where my husband and I used to live in Calgary. The river, sunshine, and nature felt like a good place to be.
Life felt hopeless, and I didn’t even have the emotional energy to cry or yell. Just empty, bleak, and defeated.
I had lost my first pregnancy, which was devastating. The excitement of finally starting a family and moving toward the vision I had for my life had vanished, and I was back to where I started with an empty womb, a life-sucking job that I hated, and a financial shipwreck.
I desperately wanted to get out of the city and settle down with a family in a smaller community. I was sick of being broke and busting my butt in a dead-end sales job that burned me out. City life offered nothing for me.
My husband was financially, emotionally, and physically drained from an entrepreneurial venture that didn’t work out.
I could see no way out. Every aspect of my life seemed like a road to nowhere, bleak, and pointless.
Taking my walk that afternoon along the river was in no way meant to motivate myself with a pep talk. It was just a quiet escape. There were a few tears, but they were almost forced since I mostly felt numb.
Then something happened.
Words came to me, very distinctly.
“God loves you, and everything’s going to be ok.”
I stopped in my tracks. This did not come from me. This was not a message I was reaching for. But it was very clear. I stood still and just let that sink in a little bit. Then I walked home and just let those words wash over me.
Was there a sudden, magical fix for all things right from that moment?
No, but I kept moving forward and followed my heart and my gut. Shifts started to happen, new ideas and opportunities presented themselves, and doors were opened.
We had a healthy baby boy a year later and found the means to move to a small community when he was just a few months old.
Goodbye, city life!
Goodbye, soul-sucking job!
Our finances improved. My burdens lifted.
In that moment of darkness, there was no way I could have foreseen how much more fulfilling, peaceful, and happy my life would be in the very near future. But I found hope, and that’s all that I needed to keep going.
Since then, many more storms have passed through my life. Healing opportunities have come, and I’ve grown. I’m older, stronger, and also more true to myself than ever. I’ve allowed myself to cry and bleed, then move toward healing and love.
No matter how you view or embrace your spirituality, know this. You are so much more than your problems, pain, and fear. You are loved and worthy of the life your deepest heart desires, the life that aligns with who you really are, not what you think you should want or be.
Get still. Take time to process your emotions and honour them.
Get quiet and let your spirit whisper to you. Your soul is not and cannot be broken.
Connect with others who lift you up. Distance yourself from constant negativity. Send love and distance yourself from it.